Creating a Gentle Rhythm for Your Baby: Eat, Awake Time, Sleep

by Janice M

Reflecting Back on the Little Years

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I was holding my last newborn baby in my arms and thinking to myself, I’m going to blink and you’ll be big. And that’s exactly how fast it happened. Everyone warned me when I had little ones that they grow up really fast. I didn’t realize how right they were until just recently as I was riding in the passenger seat with my oldest behind the wheel. “How do they just allow kids to drive” is something I’ve been wondering… oh right, I guess she’s not a kid anymore. 

As I think back to the days of parenting newborns, and toddlers, there are things I would have done differently and things I would do again. You quickly learn that there is an abundance of information out there on how to take care of your baby. I do believe God gave mothers an intuition for caring for their babies, and maybe we need to listen to that more than we listen to the ideas we find in books and blogs. With that in mind, I thought it would be interesting to look back and revisit the ideas I had learned and share the ones I found to be most helpful.  

Baby Rhythm: Eat, awake time, sleep. 

I learned a lot about caring for my new baby through reading many books and blogs. One of the most helpful tips I learned was to create a rhythm for my newborn baby. The rhythm of feeding your baby first, then some awake time/playtime, and then naptime. The idea was to not have your baby become dependent on a feed in order to fall asleep. I would follow a 2.5 – 3 hour rhythm in the earlier days, and wake up my baby after a solid nap and start off with a full feeding, a diaper change and then some playtime. The result of following this rhythm led to content babies and it allowed me to better plan my day because the day was more predictable. I could plan around naps and feedings because we had this rhythm. I’m convinced that they were as content as they were because they really do thrive on a routine. Also, they didn’t have the chance to become overtired, because I knew that after a certain amount of time of being awake, they needed to have a nap. I would lay them down before they would even show signs of being tired. If I waited too long and they started to display signs of being overstimulated, getting them settled for their nap was a stressful challenge. 

One thing I didn’t do was allow the clock to be the parent. Yes, I used this rhythm and it was a life saver, but if something came up or my baby was hungry sooner than “planned”, that was ok. I just adjusted the day accordingly. There were times where I was stressed out because my baby wasn’t following my plan, but I quickly had to learn that I was being unrealistic. I had to learn to go with the flow, and that’s why I like the idea of the rhythm better than a strict schedule. 

We didn’t allow our baby’s naps to change our plans. 

We are people people. We loved spending time with friends and family. After we had our first baby, our life obviously changed and very much revolved around our new baby, as it should! What I learned pretty quickly was that it was a good idea to train your baby to fall asleep anywhere. I would use white noise to help muffle out any interruptive sounds, and it worked really well. Of course, they didn’t have those cute tiny sound machines when I had my first baby, so I hauled around a massive fan. It was big and it was loud. I mean LOUD—no one or sudden noise was going to interrupt my baby’s naptime. 

If we had evening plans at a friend’s place, we would bring that playpen and fan, and settle our baby down for their bedtime there. This allowed us to continue to have a social life. 

Consistent bedtime. 

We stuck to a consistent bedtime. When they were very little, it was 7 PM, and we gradually pushed that time up as they needed less sleep. Having a regular bedtime was important for our babies as they really do thrive on consistency. It was also nice to have some free time left in the evenings before heading to bed. If my day was long and exhausting, I knew that 7 PM was coming, and that meant I would be able to have a few hours before bed to do whatever I wanted or needed to do. Being needed by your sweet baby is a beautiful thing, but in order to love and care for our families well, I learned that it was very important to also fill up my cup. If I was running on empty and feeling stressed, my baby could sense it and they became miserable too.  

An extra feed during growth spurts.

Ok, this was a lifesaver of a tip for me. Every time I felt like we had figured out our routine, it wouldn’t take long before it got thrown off. It would stress me out until I learned that babies have regular growth spurt cycles. The first one starts at 7 to 10 days old, then at 2 to 3 weeks old, next at 4 to 6 weeks, then at 3 months and at 6 months. After I understood this, I was quick to pinpoint WHY they were suddenly extra fussy and not sleeping as well. During growth spurts, I would make sure to add in an extra feed in the day and that usually led to a happier baby and a smoother growth spurt experience for everyone. 

Trust your gut, embrace the rhythms, and give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned. The days can feel long, but the years are short, and before you know it, you’ll be looking back, just like me, marveling at how far they’ve come. Keep going, and don’t forget to fill up your own cup along the way.