Hospitality

Judy (aka Mom, Nana, Nan)

Hospitality creates an atmosphere of warmth and involves practicing love for others. It’s considered a spiritual practice. 1 Peter 4:9 encourages us to show hospitality. It’s about expressing the welcoming love of Christ to others and building relationships. There are many ways to show acts of kindness to others…from inviting someone to have a lemonade with you on your deck to offering them your home over a given period of time. It goes deeper than food and a house. It’s more about building relationships, not so much about what but rather how. 

I grew up in a home where hospitality was as common as serving your own family. By today’s standards, I’d say my parents were VERY hospitable. Guests could show up at any time of the day and plan to spend part of the day or the whole day with us. The culture of just dropping in uninvited and unannounced at someone’s house has been lost, but it was the norm back then. It was just a given that you’d welcome them to the table at meal time. My parents even took in and cared for 2 elderly people who were unable to live alone, and they weren’t even related to us.

We as a family were 10 people already, but every Sunday supper, guests were invited– there was always more room at the table! Hosting was something that happened all the time. There was always a guest room– even in the 24 x 24 house we lived in until my teen years. It had 2 levels plus a basement. Every nook and cranny was well utilized. After my parents built a new home, they often hosted families for extended periods of time. Needless to say, showing hospitality was well modeled in my growing up years.

So what did I learn from what was modeled to me? Although it was more than I put into practice, I learned that you can be just you. It’s not about serving gourmet style, having the latest dinnerware and silverware, the pre-dinner

hor d’oeuvres, or the 5 course meal. Rather, it’s about making people feel comfortable and being willing to serve them by sharing what you have to meet their needs.

After getting married, we lived in a camper trailer for six months. We had limited resources and space but that was a great place to start my hosting and hospitality apprenticeship. We had our camper and the great outdoors! Keeping things simple was pretty much our only option. Then, after moving into our house, hosting options were multiplied. We enjoyed having family and friends into our new home. A new home it was, but all our furniture was handed down and outdated. However, it was fun trying out my “hosting skills”. I’ll admit that I had some embarrassing moments. One time, my guests witnessed me dropping a dish while taking it out of the oven. It all spilled out onto the oven door. Thankfully, they were very gracious and insisted I scoop it back into the dish and that it would be just fine. That was SO embarrassing for me, but I survived that episode and carried on.

Another story of hosting that could have been so embarrassing was a time when we invited friends over– she had been our dentist and he had been our realtor in the past. We had made plans for them to come for supper at a later date. The day came and I had totally forgotten about it. We were just preparing to sit down and have our meal when a car pulled into the driveway. We wondered who it might be. Immediately, I realized who it was and panicked! I looked at the set table and told the children to quickly set 2 more places and to embellish the table with placemats and napkins and I thanked the Lord that I had made an all-around “nice” supper. That could have been SO embarrassing. Thankfully I was spared. Our guests came in and we welcomed them to sit down and enjoy supper with us!

We can view hosting as difficult or challenging. I feel the pressure is off when you keep it simple. You don’t need to go over and above what normal family meals are. At times, you may have very little time to prepare. This is where I find it helpful to have a few things ready to go in my freezer. Sometimes I make a double recipe and freeze it for a future meal. Some recipes I make have ingredients that I use in other dishes so I try to double and freeze some of them along the way. A little planning can go a long way. I also find that I feel the most confident when I start my meal preparations in adequate time. I like the relaxed feeling of everything being ready when my guests arrive rather than the adrenaline rush of falling behind the scheduled meal time. Hosting can also look different between when family come who regularly visit and with friends who just come occasionally. At times we fail to realize the blessing we are and the blessing we receive when we welcome someone or a family into our home for a meal or a weekend stay. Jesus reminds us that, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

  I remember my mom saying as she got older, “I just can’t do what I do as quickly as I used to”. I find myself saying the same thing now. I realized that both my mom and I tried to involve our children in the preparation of guests. I believe we need to engage our children in this way of serving others and we all benefit in serving one another. For example, there was an underprivileged family that we often hosted. The little girl in that family observed our kindness. In her heart, she decided that when she’d become a wife and mother, she wanted to do the same as she had witnessed. That’s exactly who she is today!

I’m not very creative or fancy when it comes to entertaining. I don’t think I would be one to make hosting appear challenging. I do enjoy the fancy side though. That’s where God has blessed me with daughters and daughters in-law. I’m so deeply blessed by them. They always help me out when the occasion arises. We enjoy our weekly Sunday suppers together which, for the most part, we host at our house. I’m blessed too, by how we all work together and can put a meal together and even be fancy sometimes.

If hospitality is something that is challenging for you, I suggest starting with simple things. How about that lemonade on the deck. You could switch it up with hot dogs and s’mores around the campfire, or even just dessert and coffee in your living room. Co-hosting with someone you’re comfortable with could also be a way to start your journey of hospitality. Jesus served a meal to the disciples who came onto the shore after their fishing excursion. He had breakfast waiting for them– fish cooking over a charcoal fire and some bread. He said, “Bring some of the fish you’ve caught”. He even offered the disciples to contribute from their catch, even though He didn’t need it. Sometimes we overthink the things we fear and feel inadequate, but starting small will help build confidence. The blessing is ours– and it overflows to those we reach out to. Hospitality is a reflection of God’s grace to us.